I am a muleteer and I hail from Texas. I'm heading to Richmond so I can show General Lee how to whomp some Yankees."And that's how I met the self-proclaimed greatest muleskinner, lover, fighter, gambler and dancer who ever lived. Mr. Colbert was also never without a scheme. Over rabbit and spicy pinto beans, JC made me a part of his latest."Jeb, I'm glad a fellow mule man came along today because I need your help. See, I'm a sergeant in the Texas Militia with the duty of becoming a teamster for General Lee. I served with Lee in the 2nd Cavalry on the Texas frontier and he's the finest man that ever climbed on a horse. Anyway, the problem I have is I need a corporal to help me with the stock, plus with your mule we have the number for needing both a sergeant and a corporal. See, in Texas a sergeant tends six mules and a corporal tends four, while helping the sergeant. Jeb, I want you to be that corporal."Of course he was tipping the outhouse with me, but as young and impressionable as. I stay in pretty good shape rowing on the college crew team. Heidi handed me a white T-shirt which I put on. Then she helped me into the fat vest. It wasn’t as heavy as it looked, but still weighed nearly 10 pounds I’m sure. The vest fastened around my neck with a clip in the back. When Heidi zipped it down my back, I looked down at what seemed to be a 40 year old beer belly. I put my hands on it to see how it felt and was shocked when it felt almost like real skin. It was filled with some kind of gel and even moved like real skin and blubber. There was not much padding over the shoulders, but plenty sloping from there across my chest and out. I could no longer see my belt buckle. Then Heidi added some sleeves that attached to the fat vest and ended at my wrists. The sleeves were cotton lined but added fat to my arms. “Now,” said Heidi, with a little gleam in her eye, “I hope you wore clean underwear today. I need you to lose your shoes, socks, and pants.” She turned away but made.
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